Jamaican Serenity

Sunday, 26 July 2015

Learning to find companionship in the lonely times

John 17 is part of a great sequence of passages starting from John 13, when Jesus and the disciples first reclined to eat the last supper in the upper room. It is a scene of a master taking his protégés through their final preparations before he departs, before he sends them on their way, before they graduate from his mentorship.

And then he concludes with this amazing prayer in John 17. It is said to be Jesus' longest prayer. It is probably more accurate to say it is his longest recorded prayer, because there are scenes throughout the Gospels where Jesus removes himself from company to be alone with the father for hours, usually at sunset or sunrise. I assume his prayers with God during those times are longer than this one in John 17.

There are a lot of wonderful nuggets of information in this passage. I would like to focus on 3 verses, which underpin the central message of this blog - verses 20-23:

20 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one 23 I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.

Jesus said that we should be one, as he and the father are one, and that we should be in them, in the father and in the son, so the world will believe that the Father had sent the son.

What does this mean? How can we be in the father and in the son? How do we apply this to our everyday lives?

Many years ago when I was in high school (I think I was about 14), I went to watch a football match. My high school, Wolmer's Boys school was playing Trench Town Comprehensive school in the Manning Cup, the main competition for football supremacy. Trench Town was, and probably still is, one of the political garrison communities, an enclave. A community where you only go if you know someone and they know you; and if you are of the wrong political persuasion you cannot go there.

The game was played at the National Stadium, Jamaica's version of Wembley, and thousands of supporters flocked to the stadium to watch the game. I don't remember the result of game, but what has stuck with me is what happened after the game.

It was dark, and I was walking towards the central bus station in Cross Roads to catch a bus home, it was about a 2 mile walk. The street I was walking along was lined with people on both sides, all streaming towards Cross Roads. Suddenly I was stopped by a guy. He was a little bigger than me, and older. He tried to engage me in conversation, but I tried to ignore him and step around him, but he accosted me and asked me for my watch. I told him I wasn't giving him my watch, so he made a motion towards me with his right arm. Instinctively I blocked his arm, my first thought being that he was trying to punch me. When I looked down I saw a knife. Before anything else happened, I heard shouts and running footsteps, and a mass of Wolmer's boys were rushing towards me. The guy saw this and ran off.

This is one of many experiences I had throughout my high school years that taught me what it meant to be a Wolmer's boy. I recall this one because it was the first. I didn't know any of the boys who came running to my rescue, but they came to my aid because I was wearing a Wolmer's uniform. I was a Wolmerian. If there was a Wolmerian in distress, in trouble, in a fight, you went to his aid. It was not something that was talked about, or was taught, it was in-grained in you as part of the culture and fabric of the school. We take care of our own. And as I result, you never felt alone. You always knew that somewhere near by there was a Wolmerian who would be there to help you if you needed it. And that applies to Old Boys as well as current students. That type of brotherhood is heartwarming and emboldens you in times of trouble and strife. Even now, having left Wolmers over 30 years ago, I feel kinship with boys who are there now. When the boys do well, I feel good. When boys need help, I feel compelled to assist. There is a companionship, a oneness, a belonging that is hard to explain and replicate. It is fair to say that Wolmers is in me, and I am in Wolmers.

I think this is what it means to be in Jesus, and in God.

But how do we attain this? I have told you what being "IN" looks like, but has that helped you get there?

Looking back, for Wolmer's to be in me, and me in Wolmer's, there were some steps I had to go through. 

Firstly, I had to desire to go there. I worked really hard to prepare for the Common Entrance exams, the equivalent to the 11+ here in the UK, the entry exam to move from primary school to secondary school. Every child across the island had to choose  2 schools, and Wolmer's was my first choice. I don't even remember what was my other choice. My only focus and desire was to get into Wolmer's. Similarly, we have to choose Jesus as our saviour and Lord. We must desire him over the other choices in this world. Desire his love, forgiveness and grace over all else. The big difference is that we don't have to work hard for any of this, we only have to believe, repent and ask.

Secondly, I had to accept the culture at Wolmer's. If I rejected the culture, the infusion and cross pollination would not be possible. Similarly, we must accept Jesus and the gift of the Holy Spirit. We must drink him in, and allow him to infuse us with his love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithful, gentleness and self control.

There is a third step, but before I describe that, it is very important for you to understand the nature of this desire and this acceptance that I just described. They are of the heart, not of the mind. They are not intellectual, but visceral. If you have a hard or cold heart, you cannot desire the Lord or accept him. It is in your heart that you must do this, and this is very important. The tears that flow when the Holy Spirit convicts you are not possible if you only understand what you have done in your mind, but you have to feel it in your heart. The joy you feel based on your hope in the Lord is not based on a logical conclusion, but an infusion of love in your heart. We cannot comprehend God, we cannot understand his greatness, his power, his grace in our minds, but we can get it in our hearts, and share that with others. This is about the heart, your heart. First in the heart, and the mind will follow. 

So finally, the third step is action. I had to act on my desire and acceptance for it become part of me. That incident I described stayed with me because there was action. I am a part of the school history, and it is a part of mine because of actions, my participation in the life of my schoolmates, the school, and its history. And then I become a part of a brotherhood that stays with me wherever I am and go. In the same way, we are expected to take action in Jesus Christ, using our gifts to bring glory to God's Kingdom. We are not expected to simply come to church each Sunday and do nothing, but instead we are expected to take action so that we can be woven into the fabric of God's Kingdom, we in him and he in us. And with this comes companionship.

Are all these steps needed in this order to gain companionship when you are lonely? No. I don't think so. God doesn't seem to work in a prescriptive way. He has his own ways and means that sometimes are hard for us to understand. As I said earlier, when we try to figure out God in our minds we very often fail. What I have tried to do is explain the elements needed. Desire and acceptance are forms of belief and faith. I believe faith and belief are muscles that have to be worked to become strong. In my own experience it is sometimes hard. There are times when I feel extremely lonely, and everything seems really dark. There is one thing that pulls me through consistently, and that is my hope that is based on my faith. I have always wondered how anyone who does not know the love of Jesus, and doesn't believe in his resurrection gets through the hard times. What is their hope? What do they hold on to? Is it their wealth? Is it their job? Is it their friends? Is it their family? The fact is, all those things go away. You can lose your job, lose your wealth, lose your friends, even lose your family. That is why people commit suicide when the stock market crashes, or when they are disgraced and lose their status or careers, and the loss of a family member can shatter their lives. The thing in which they placed their hope is gone. 

In my times of loneliness, I fall on my knees and pray. Very often in tears. I believe that in doing so, I am desiring the heart of God, I have accepted my weakness, and I am taking action by humbling myself. It is ok in these times to be angry with God, it is ok to shout at him if that is what you need to do. Shout, cry, whisper, plead, do something, but take some type action. Doing nothing is not an option. Seek him, desire him, humble yourself, accept your place at the foot of his throne.

At the end of John 16, Jesus tells the disciples that they will all scatter and leave him alone. This must have been very hard for them to hear, and hard for him to say. Just for a moment, we get a glimpse of Jesus the man, the human-ness in him must have despaired. After three years together, in his moment of need, they would all run away. We can relate to this. When we are in greatest need, there seems to be no one around. We are alone.

But then Jesus reassures them. That moment passes quickly. He reminds them that he will not be alone, for his father will always be with him.

I want to remind you that if you desire, accept and act, your heavenly father is always with you.